these roads these light.

I have never thought that I will fail my SPM.
this feeling never last but full of regrets.
but, I could not turn back into that time.
the time when I was neglecting my study,
the time when I tried to gain attention from my crush,
the time when I ruined my own future.
after settling the SPM, I have chosen plantation as my new future.
I thought I will try hard and get rid those nitemares I am having after SPM.
I'm wrong, but worst.
Ive been proud of what I should not be.
I thought that I was a genius, I can answer all questions without revising.
Im wrong, Im not that one.
now, im doing the same mistakes like previous years.
Im so sad of myself, silly me for repeating the same mistakes.
now, failure is following me. oh yes, im afraid of failure.
afraid of losing another friend because my own failure.
no one will ever wanted to be your friend as if you are a dumb.
I cannot draw, even to draw my own future with colours
I am a loser? dont you feel the same?
when I've failed something that I like, I would definitely falling apart.
I dont to cry again like yesterday. I dont my parents to be sad of what I got.
I should be prepared for something unexpected.
I should be strong.
but where did I put my strength?